Friday, September 10, 2010

Greek Life.

I am not greek. At the university with the largest greek population in the United States.

I never had the desire to rush for a sorority despite the fact my best friend and room mate is greek, along with several of my other good friends. I spent my freshmen year with people who were nearly all greek. And I was definitly that freshmen who went to frat parties. Far too much.

It makes sense I always went to party at frats because I wasn´t 21 until very recently. Still, looking back at it I can´t help but find it somewhat embarrassing.

To me, there is no point in being part of the greek system. My roommate will swear to you that it is proven in a professional setting to give people an advantage. For example, if you have an interview with someone who is greek, they are more likely to hire you if you are greek as well.

When I informed my dad of that tid bit of information, he responded with "Well, yeah, anything is true if you say it out loud enough."

Even if it is true, I am not planning on working at Nordstroms or a tanning salon, so I am not worried too much about it. And plus if I don´t get hired somewhere because I am not greek, it will probably be a blessing in disguise.

I do not mean to imply people who are greek are stupid because I personally know that is not the case. I just think idea of sororities are stupid. Plus, if you talk to a sorority girl about her sorority, the majority of the time she will bitch about it. Complain about "nationals", dry rules and other girls in the house.

Another thing that bothers me about sororities is they always wear the same shirts. Yesterday I saw at least 50 blondes walking around wearing the same shirt (I am assuming they were told to, or there was an event in the evening.) But let´s be honest, since when was it cool to match your friends? Fourth grade?

I am guilty too. When I was nine I liked to wear the same clothes as my best friend. We even would call each other the night before to coordinate our outfits (which was usually overalls with a blue shirt of Winnie the Pooh eating a watermelon.)

What is the difference between a 10-year-old wearing the same clothes as her best friend and an entire house of girls wearing the same stuff? A 10-year-old looks cute. 22-year-old looks stupid.

My room mate has told me she has met some of her best friends through her sorority. Cool, I have met ALL of my best friends without being in one.

I once lived in a house with three other girls. It was horrible. I cannot imagine living with 50. My dad says that when you put too many rats in a cage they eat other. The same goes for girls.

The best part about the greek system is if you are not greek, they judge you. If you are greek, they will judge anyway, depending on what house you are in.

One sorority is known as "Sigma Cows" instead of Sigma Kappa.

Alpha Delta Pi, more commonly called A-D-Pi, is or otherwise known as Eighty-Pound-Thighs.

There is another frat whose letters are SAE (Sigma Alpha Eplisilon). There nickname is SAE. Sexual-Assault-Expected. Lovely.

Each frat and sorority have their own reputation. The fat girls. The snobs. The losers. The half-gay guys. The assholes. The ugly chicks. The weird guys.

Who wouldn't want a label like that?

The week before classes start is Rush Week for the sororities and fraternities. Recruiting for the frats include inviting guys over to smoke hookah and drink. For sororities this week entails a strict schedule and lots and lots of rules. Rules about the way to dress and the way act. There is strictly NO DRINKING. All week.

It used to be that at 12 pm on Sunday the Rush rules would lift for all the girls and everyone would go crazy. People would go so crazy, the university had to change the rule. Two years ago they had a record number of people sent to the hospital for alcohol poisoning and overdose. Along with a record number of people who recieved MIPs (Minor in Possession).

The one time I enjoyed this day of heavy partying and drinking was my sophomore year here. All my friends were greek and insisted I go out with them. At noon.

And this was also the day I went to my last frat party. I met up with my friends and we went to the first frat house where they scooped me a cup from a bucket of "Jungle Juice". Jungle Juice, can be whatever you want it to be, so long as it is fruity.

Now my mom had always told me a million times to not leave my drink unattended or accept any mysterious liquid from guys I don't know. And I always swore I would be smarter than the girls who end up getting too drunk and taken advantage of. However, since I had spent my entire freshmen year doing just that, accepting strange drinks from a bunch of frat guys I did not know, I did not even think twice to accept this cup filled with juice made in a storage bin. After all, it was not like I was by myself, I was with five other girls.

However, being the some-what responsible drinker that I am, I asked the guy what was in it. "Oh, you know, vodka... some cans of frozen juice, sprite. Stuff like that. But don't worry ladies, it's not too strong."

Our plan, as it always is, was to drink the free booze, and if the party is lame, or the guys ugly, we would drink fast, get drunk, and leave. So we did just that. I nearly chugged the first glass and drank half of the second.

Now, for a girl, I have a decent tolerance and I can hide my drunk well. As we were crossing the street to the next frat, I literally felt a wave of alcohol crash into me.

I remember grabbing my friend's arm and saying "Oh my god. I just got so drunk."

To be honest, it was a miracle that I did not black out that day, because I have never felt that drunk without blacking out at least somewhat. About five minutes into the next party I realized that I needed to go home, I was far to drunk to function. My friend said she felt the same way and she did not understand how she got so fucked up got so quickly. When we left and we saw our friends smoking hookah across the street so we went and sat down and waited for the drunkness to wear off a little.

After I was able to coherently walk again, I went home. The next day I found out that in the frat that served me the Jungle Juice, they had used Everclear in it. Which I am pretty sure is illegal in half of the States because it is far too powerful. What a bunch of fucking douchebags.

However it was enough for me to learn my lesson and not be trusting of strangers. (Gee, imagine that line of thinking.)

While I was sitting there on the lawn smoking hookah. I saw girls trip, fall and stumbled down stairs. When I was walking home, I saw people walking their nearly passed out friends on their backs. I also saw a girl just laying in a lawn. My other friend told me that she passed out in the middle of a conversation and fell flat on her face. (This is the same friend that is now in rehab for alcohol and drug addiction. She is 21.)

I understand being greek means different things for different people. However for me, fraternities usually signify a group of guys that encourage each other bad behaviors and to essentially fuck girls and get drunk. And sororities signify FAR too much estrogen in a house.

Greek life? No thanks.


  1. Meh. It's not for me.

    As someone once said, regarding the club fees: "I don't enough money to buy my friends."

    -French Bean

  2. HAA!!

    The entire system is super artificial and the hierarchies that exists within these houses are super contrived and false.